6 Super Easy Secrets to Finding Loyal Friends
Do you ever see people with long-time loyal friends and wonder how they managed to build such strong friendships? Do you want friends who will stick with you through any situation? Of course, you do! Having just one loyal friend is everything! You can conquer a lot with the right person beside you.
But what is required in order to build such friendships? What do you need to give to gain lasting friendships? Why should you be willing to invest in making friends who will stay?
This article answers these and other questions about how to make real friends.
Make Yourself Available
The first thing to do if you are trying to make friends is to put yourself out there. You can’t make any friends if you are always keeping to yourself or never leaving the house.
Admittedly, not everyone will find it easy to interact and socialize with other people. That may be so especially if you are dealing with abandonment or trust issues. If that is how you feel, do not give up. Start small. You can start by talking to one person in a group of people instead of attempting to address a whole group.
Contrary to what many sitcoms will show you, you don’t have to say something intelligent when you meet someone for the first time for you to leave an impression. Usually, kindness and empathy shown to strangers can lead to a warm conversation that can be the start of a lasting friendship. So, be kind by word and deed to the people you meet.
Do not feel that because you spoke to someone and things went well the first time then you are going to be the best of friends. It takes time to know people well and to decide if these are people that you want in your life. So how can you choose?
Set Realistic Standards
The one thing you don’t want to do when deciding who among your acquaintances you want to make a close friend is being overly picky. The truth is, you are not going to meet any perfect person. Therefore, be realistic when deciding what to expect from a prospective friend.
Another thing is to avoid stooping too low. You have your own values and principles that you live by already. These are important to you. That means you won’t just be friends with anyone even if it means sacrificing your own goals and priorities in life. A loyal friend would understand that.
So, choose someone who will help you to reach your goals. Someone who supports and encourages what you stand for. Friendships based on support for each other go a long way. True friends push you to be the best version of yourself.
Be Willing to Invest
INVEST? This may seem a bit strange. “Why do I need to invest? I thought friendships are for free,” you may say. Well, that is not exactly true. Building a lasting friendship is a lot of work that requires time, emotional and physical energy and money.
Think about it this way, your friend is going through a hard time but your life seems to be on the right track. You are happy and don’t want anything spoiling your mood at the moment. It will take a real friend in your situation to put themselves in their friend’s shoes, to feel what they are feeling, and to be there for them.
Are you willing to sacrifice your own happiness at times in order to be there when your friend needs you? Remember, you will need them too someday. And if you are real friends, you will expect them to be there.
It all boils down to being a good friend if you want to attract good friends. If you are selfish, no one will want to be your friend. The point is to get into a friendship knowing that you will have to give something.
Focus on Quality
Should you worry if you don’t have many friends? Not really.
In this age of social media, many people seem to have numerous “friends” and you may wonder if you should too. But social media followers are not real friends. These are people you may never even have met. Even if you have, most of these are usually people you can’t share personal matters with. In fact, they may be following you just for entertainment and don’t care what your life is like or what you are dealing with.
You want to know the best thing? You don’t need many friends.
When setting out to make friends, your focus should be on the quality of friendships you are building, never quantity. Just one loyal friend is better than ten superficial ones.
Improve on Communication
Communication skills are necessary in all relationships. Especially when starting out, you will need to communicate clearly with each other. It’s important that you express yourself clearly and honestly. Your newly acquired friend doesn’t know you well, so it’s paramount that in the very early stages, you both learn to express yourselves clearly and to listen to each other.
With time it gets easier. Once you learn to understand one another, it’s possible to hear and understand the unspoken words. But this only happens if you work hard in the initial stages.
Make it an aim to communicate regularly. Face to face communication is the best. But phone calls and text messages can suffice when you are not able to meet in person.
Work on Forgiveness
Once a friendship is established, it’s now time to work at keeping it. How do people keep friends for long? The best advice you can ever get is to remember to forgive. Don’t quickly throw away friendships because of a tiny mistake or misunderstanding.
If your friend does something that hurts you or you don’t agree with, the best thing is to talk openly to them about it. That way you will know their reasons for acting that way. You may find out that they didn’t mean any harm. Even if what they did hurt you, find a reason to forgive them. Focus on why you wanted to be friends in the first place. Avoid overthinking the misunderstanding.
Of course, there are instances when you may decide to break off the friendship. No amount of investment should make you stay in an abusive friendship or that is hurting your emotional and mental health. But such cases are usually few, especially if you did your due diligence before going in too deep.
Find Loyal Friends
No one survives alone in this world. Everyone needs people around them. That's true in your case too. This article has made it possible for you to find at least one true friend.
If you are determined to get yourself out there and to be realistic in your expectations, you will meet some of the most amazing people. Work at building friendships by being ready to invest your time and energy, by communicating clearly and regularly, and by letting go of your friends' small mistakes.