3 Signs Your Relationship is Exhausting You Emotionally (And Mentally)
“No man is an island.”
We all need to be in relationships with people to survive.
Happy relationships are satisfying to be in, and great to watch.
But just like anything good, relationships require work to thrive. Giving and taking. Excusing and being excused and so on.
That having been said, to what extent should you fight to keep a relationship?
Or let's ask it this way, how much work are you putting into your current relationships? This could be any kind of relationship.
How is your relationship with your spouse or partner? It could even be your relationship with other family members or friends.
The question is, are you doing too much for your relationship and getting nothing from it? Even being exhausted from it?
Can there reach a point when ending the relationship is the only way for you to recover mentally and emotionally?
The tough answer is YES.
So, what are the indicators that the relationship could be draining you?
We’ll talk about warning signs you should never ignore. And then we’ll see where you can find help.
You’re scared of spending time with your partner
If you find yourself fantasizing about being away from your partner, there’s a problem. The way relationships work is that you are supposed to want to spend time together.
But when you are in an unhealthy relationship, you get anxiety and panic attacks at the thought of spending time together.
It’s easy to excuse this because it’s usually as a result of some sort of heartbreak you decided to forgive but never really worked out. Your partner may have cheated on you, been physically, mentally, or sexually abusive. You talked and agreed to work it out. But it’s just never been the same. Instead, you find yourself feeling trapped and helpless.
This is a serious sign you should never ignore. Your mental and emotional health is too important to shove aside.
You can’t speak your mind
Again, being in a relationship is supposed to give you someone to be closest to, to share your innermost feelings. It should be with someone who cares about what makes you happy and listens when you have something to say.
Of course, all relationships are imperfect and each person may need to make sacrifices in what they expect to get from their partner. But if you are in a relationship in which you are never able to say what you think without skipping a heart bit, you may need to reconsider.
Usually, this happens because your partner is irked so easily by what you say. So you are constantly scared that whatever you say (or do) may lead to an argument. And so you resort to accepting any kind of treatment. You are scared they may leave or may react violently so you feel justified to let it pass.
This passive approach backfires on you in the long run: because all those bottled up feelings leave you drained and resenting your partner.
You need to ask yourself some tough questions before it’s too late.
You’re Always Tired
Can you explain why you sleep the required amount of hours each day, and yet you wake up feeling tired, always?
To be fair, there could be several reasons for this. But we are talking about warning signs for unhealthy relationships and this is a major one among them.
The reason bad relationships cause physical fatigue is that you spend too much energy trying to make it work. You are constantly wondering what you should do differently and what new ways you can try to impress your partner.
Also, most of the time you spend together is spent arguing or finding solutions to never-ending problems. You are going to be tired, you are only human. You need to figure out if you want to continue working so hard, or if the two of you are better off apart.
Okay, This is me! What Next?
Do you feel like so far we’re talking about you? You are not alone.
We never start in a relationship expecting it to fail. So sometimes we hold on for too long. This isn’t good for our health.
Remember we said relationships require some amount of work to thrive, so a few issues here and there are perfectly normal.
However, if you feel that you are drained by your relationship, you are in your right mind to call it quits.
Don’t be scared to walk away and start afresh if that’s what you need.
You may need the help of a relationship/breakup coach to figure out your next move. And if you decide to end the relationship, a breakup coach can help you recover from the breakup and get over your ex.
Talk to Sabrena. She's a certified life coach who focuses on relationships breakups.